Lana - Entry 42

My head is killing me and I think my stomach hates me. I just want to lie down and close my eyes for a bit but Lilith has kept me moving. I think she’s saved my life. If my head would just stop pounding for a moment I’ll be able to tell the story.

 Last night Lilith and I stopped by a tavern on the side of the road to get dinner. It was so warm and cozy. I wish I were there now enjoying the fire and good food; this time around though I’d pass on the strong ale. There were a couple of older boys there. As soon as Lilith and I walked in we immediately caught their attention. They sent over a round of strong dark ale, which we accepted. I’d never had ale before, or any alcohol for that matter, but Lilith didn’t bat an eyelash as she took her first sip. I didn’t want to say anything so I just took a sip as well. It wasn’t too bad, a little strange, but not bad. It had bubbles, which I knew but they felt odd in my mouth. It was thick with a little hint of chocolate. After a bit the boys worked up enough courage to come over. They seemed very friendly, and very curious about the two of us traveling alone. But not in a bad, creepy way that suggested they meant us harm, just in a curious, friendly way. I liked their company and even Lilith was being almost friendly. I’ve never been with a bunch of people before like that. I mean I had fun at the festival with Sal and there were a lot of people around but it was still just Sal and I. I’m not sure if that make sense but being in a group is different. Multiple people all talking to you and each other all at once. It’s not like with just two people where you wait for your turn to talk. Multiple conversations all going at the same time, one person next to you is talking about their summer work in the fields, another person next to you is gossiping about this person kissing that person, then suddenly those two people have completely changed the subject and are talking to each other about the time they almost drowned in the river together. My head was spinning and I had no idea how they could keep it up. All I know is that whenever my glass got low someone would fill it again. My head started spinning faster and it wasn’t just from the conversation. I should have stopped drinking then but people started singing, someone in the place had a fiddle and others were making music with whatever was on hand. One of the boys grabbed my hands and we started dancing. I’ve never danced with anyone before! It was so much fun. I don’t think there were any official steps to the dance, he just swept me across the floor and spun me all over the place. Oh, I could live in that night forever! I’ve never felt so alive. The dancing just made me thirsty and so I just kept drinking. I’m not sure what I remember last.

The room was quite, a few people talking at tables but the music was over, Lilith had my arm and was shaking it.  She was telling me we had to go, that if we weren’t careful we’d stay there too long. I was so warm and comfy I didn’t want to move. But she shook me harder. I opened my eyes to find her angry face staring down at me. I was on a bench, against the wall, with one of the boy’s arms draped across my shoulders. She pulled me to my feet and pushed me to the door. As soon as the cold air hit my face I threw up all over my shoes. The world was spinning and I was cold. I just wanted to crawl back inside and lay down but Lilith made me walk. We walked on and off throughout the night. Lilith would let me rest for a few minutes but wouldn’t let me sleep. She said she was afraid she’d never be able to get me moving again. Finally at dawn, when I think most of the effects of the ale had worn off, but my head splitting open from the inside out, she let me lie down and sleep for several hours.

Lilith is still angry with me for getting drunk but it didn’t stop her from saving my life. How foolish am I! I almost got everyone there killed. What if she hadn’t have been there and I had passed out. How many people would have died because of me? The whole place would have been destroyed. It might have been the most fun I’ve had in my life but if the price is hurting people its not worth it. I can feel the warm tears start to fall down my cheeks as I write this; I’m so ashamed of myself. How could I have been so careless? So reckless with the lives of others. I will never, ever let it happen again. I am so thankful for Lilith, she saved everyone. I’m so sorry.

Lana - Entry 41

Lilith told me a little more about what she needs to do, not everything but she is starting to open up. She says we’re heading to the Great Barrier Mountains, that we need to find someone. She seems excited about how close we’re getting. She says the pace we have to keep so that the curse doesn’t find me is actually helping. She seems excited about it. 

I have to admit I’m excited too. I never dreamed I’d see this much of the world. And now the Great Barrier Mountains! She says that they are so tall they pierce the sky. I can’t even imagine that. In a few days we’ll be reaching Aldane, a city bigger than any one I’ve been to so far. I wonder if there will be more people there than at the festival. My head still swims just thinking about the event, how much action there was, how everything was always moving, the constrain flow of people. When I sleep at night I’ve been dreaming of what Aldane will look like. Oh, I can’t wait.

Lana - Entry 40

Well, Lilith seems to have gotten over being mad with me for asking about her mission and neither of us have brought it up. We’ve gone back to talking about plants and have now added boys into the mix. She’s been explaining them to me. She says that understanding them is easy, that they are basic and can easily be dealt with if you follow a few simple principles.

1)    Never give them attention. If you have to break this rule make sure its nothing positive. The moment you give them positive attention they will lose interest immediately.

2)    Never be interested in anything they say. The moment you are, is the moment they will stop trying to impress you.

3)    Never let them get away with anything. If they do anything, anything at all you don’t like you have to show them how displeased you are, even if it means being overly dramatic.

I think back to how I behaved with Sal, how I had done so many things wrong. No wonder he didn’t care about me. I’m so happy to have Lilith in my life to teach me these things! Madeline was supposed to be some great teacher but all I ever learned under her tutelage was how to wash dishes. 

Lana - Entry 39

I worked up the courage today to ask Lilith about her mission….it didn’t go well. She went quiet and I watched her jaw clenched and her hands make tight little fists at her sides. She just said she didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t push her after that and since then we have barely said a word to each other.

I know I shouldn’t have asked. She never asked me to explain anything but I told her anyway. To be honest, my feelings are a little hurt. I don’t know why she thinks she still has to keep secrets from me. No matter what it is I’ll help her. I can tell how upset she is and I would do anything to help her, anything she needed.

Lana - Entry 38

I’ve told Lilith all about Sal and the coin today. I know I shouldn’t have but I can’t imagine Lilith wanting the coin. She seems to have everything and her uncles are rich and powerful. She talked of them curing me like it would be nothing. How could men like that want a silly little coin? So I told her everything. She listened to every word and when I drew to the end of the story she grew very quite, then finally said ‘he’s lucky he’s dead’. The words were so simple but they seemed so dark and venomous when she spoke them. The hair on my arms stood up and a shiver crept down my back. I had no doubt that he was better off dead than whatever Lilith was imagining. She scared me but I’ve never had anyone care that much about me. Never had anyone feel what I had been through like that. She is more than a friend, she is my sister.

Lana - Entry 37

I love having a girlfriend! Its terrific fun. Lilith seems to have no shortage of coin and insisted that I let her buy me new clothes. While she made the offer she looked me up and down while turning up her nose at me all at the same time. I felt so self-conscious I could hardly argue. The next town we came across we went shopping. Well, Lilith went shopping and I just followed her around. We went into a shop and she would pick up a shirt and rub the fabric between her fingers before declaring the garment completely unworthy. Either the fabric was too rough, the weave shabby, the color vulgar. I had no idea that there was so much to picking out clothes!! It was an overwhelming, whirlwind that was oddly invigorating. I tried to pay attention to each judgment she made and I clung to each word trying to see what she saw. I’ve never learned so much so fast.

My head was still spinning when we walked out, new clothes in hand (they weren’t up to Lilith’s standards but she said they were at least passable) when she instructed me not to look across the street. Of course I then proceeded to look directly across the street. A group of young men were hanging out at the corner and I accidentally made eye contact with one when I had looked over. He smiled at me and started walking towards us. I heard Lilith exhale the word ‘great’. 

He came over to us, directly in front of us, practically blocking our way with his band in tow. He flashed a smile at us and asked where we were going. His smile was nice, but he was nowhere near as dashing as Sal. My stomach did little somersaults anyway. Lilith linked her arm in mine and pushed past him without answering. They continued to follow us asking questions and telling us how beautiful we were. Lilith would reply the rudest things over her shoulder, things I would never dream of saying, but they seemed to love it! They would hoot and holler at us till we got out of town. The whole situation made me nervous and I was worried at how mad Lilith must be but then I caught a glimpse of a little smile on her lips. She was playing with them. I have so much to learn!

Lana - Entry 36

It was time for Lilith and I to part ways. The road split and Meraview lay in one direction and Lilith’s destination in the other. We stood there for a bit just talking about nothing important, both reluctant to go our own way. I’m not even sure why. I had no idea where she was going or whom she was running from and she had no idea about my situation. But for some reason it felt…. better to stick together.

I was surprised when, out of the blue, she finally said that it was her uncles who were looking for her. She was running away from them and intended to go back once she’d proven herself to them. I wasn’t sure what that meant but I didn’t push her. I told her that I was cursed and if I stayed in one spot too long that I’d die and those around me would die. I didn’t offer any explanation or tell her about the coin but she also didn’t press. It felt like we had both had been holding our breath and had hurried to exhale. An awkward silence followed but then she started asking me questions. She wanted to know if I knew anyone that could help me, I said I wasn’t sure. She asked if I was going to them now, I said I didn’t know where they were but that I was trying to find them. She then said that I should go with her and after she did what she needed to do we would return to her uncles. She said they could help, that she’d see them do all sorts of wonderful things and that lifting a curse would be easy for them. She said she’d convince them to help me and that she knew that they would.

Well, it sounded like better odds to me than trying to find Eve by myself, especially since I had no idea where she was and even if I could find her if she’d be able to help me. So, here we are. I’ve found a friend, I’m going to help her on her task (which I’m sure she’ll tell me what it is when she’s ready) and then she’s going to help me be whole again. Here’s to finding a true friend!

Lana - Entry 35

Lilith is still in trouble; she’s still being hunted. She seems scared of being caught but not necessarily afraid of the people who are chasing her…if that makes any sense?

We were on the road; the sun was hanging low in the sky and the world was very quite around us. Lilith and I were both lost in our own thoughts when we heard it - the sound of hooves. We quickly ducked into the bushes. With our bellies flat on the ground we watched as two riders swiftly approached only to stop right in front of us. Their conversation went something like this:

“I swear I saw two people up here.”

“Well then, why do we care? We’re looking a girl, right? One girl, not two.”

“Maybe she’s made a friend, you idiot.”

“Rumor has it she was raised in Malignais. You know how twisted she must be? Who would make friends with a girl like that?”

They rode off after that. Lilith and I stayed lying there on the ground for a while. I don’t know what Malignais is but I could feel that their words had upset Lilith. I don’t know what they had meant by twisted but Lilith seems peaceful and kind to me. So, we just stayed there for a bit, giving her time.

Lana - Entry 34

Lilith and I have had a very lazy day today and I have to say its been wonderful! We stumbled across the most picturesque of meadows. It was so beautiful it almost hurt. We decided to have a picnic there, the sun wasn’t strong but the weather wasn’t too bad. The goldenrod (one of the only flowers that blooms this late in the season) surrounded us and the little yellow flowers made the day seem brighter than it was. I took it upon myself to make her a crown out of them and she seemed truly moved. I couldn’t believe that a little thing like that could make her so happy. Her hand kept going up to her head to make sure it was still there. She said she’s never had a flower crown before. I spent the rest of the day teaching her how to make them until we were covered in wilting plant bits.

It wasn’t as exciting as some of the days with Sal had been but it was really nice. It was peaceful and I felt like I got a small piece of my old self back.

Lana - Entry 33

Being around Lilith isn’t like being around Eve or Sal, the only two other friends I’ve really ever had. She’s much more reserved than Sal, she’s far more serious than Eve. But there is something comforting about having her around. Things don’t bother her, or I should say she doesn’t seem to be very emotional about things. Just being around her ‘matter of fact’ attitude makes me less upset about my own situation. It is what it is. Its not like I even need to ‘deal with it’ or ‘get over it’, it just is what it is, end of discussion, no feeling sorry for yourself. I don’t know, none of this probably makes any sense. Its just nice having a deep reservoir of calm around me after the emotional highs and lows I’ve been going through. 

I have started to point out and tell her about the different plants and tell her about their uses. She seems intrigued by them and told me that her home is in the desert so she’s not use to being around plants. I’m curious how is can be SO pale for having lived in a desert …but I am not about to ask.